What I Learned From A Marriage Movie As A Single
Well now that I caught your attention, you might's well just finish reading the article, right? ;)
For the last number of years I have been a big fan of the movies made by the Kendrick brothers (they're the ones responsible for Courageous, War Room, and others). I really admire their integrity, their commitment to excellence, and what good, compelling stories they write. I also like that they always write characters who showcase that turning your life over to Christ is always a good choice.
Well, for whatever reason the one movie from the Kendricks I had not seen yet was Fireproof. So, last Thursday I checked it out from the library and slipped it in the DVD drive.
Now, I gotta give a disclaimer here. I absolutely love Kendrick films, and am definitely encouraged/convicted/challenged spiritually after watching them, but I have never really been to relate to any of the characters. Typically a general story line will include intense action/interaction, people heading deeper into sin, a life-transforming encounter with Christ, and finally some reconciliation between parties (usually spouses). There's also some solid humor thrown in!! This story arc could be done under the guise of a high school football coach, policemen, or, in the case of Fireproof, a fireman. And while there's always a slightly different focus, that's pretty much in a nutshell what happens.
So back to my starting to watch Fireproof. I knew it was about a fireman and his wife who were going through martial struggles, and I figured (knowing the Kendricks), by the end of the movie they would both come to Christ and reconcile (which in very brief is what happens - but with lots of amazing plot twists and turns along the way!!)
One thing that I was really surprised at was how relatable this move was to me, even though I myself am not married. Praise the Lord (by His grace alone!!) I have not delved as deep into sin as Caleb Holt (the main fireman character), but on a lighter scale I could relate to some of his struggles. I was also able to takeaway a lot more practical advise from the film than I had anticipated. I'm writing this article mainly for myself so I can remember said advise, but I hope that anyone who is reading this is able to gain a blessing from my insights as well!
1) Integrity is key. While nothing provocative or inappropriate is shown, it is revealed that Caleb is addicted to porn. And this is a parasite that he destroys with God's help en route to having a healthy marriage once more. But for me it was just a very vivid portrayal of how important it is to do right because it is right whether or not someone is looking...because Someone always is. Your integrity is foundational to what happens to you in both this life and the next. Period.
2) The company you keep basically determines your destiny. Caleb, although a total jerk at the start of the movie, has two super positive influences in his life: his dad, and one of his fellow firemen, who are both dedicated Christians committed to helping Caleb strengthen his marriage. Through them Caleb comes to accept Christ and starts treating his wife (Catherine) much better.
Catherine's circle of friends - she works as the PR head of a hospital - do not exert such a positive influence on her. When they hear from her how Caleb has been treating her nicer lately, they insist that it must be for a sinister reason, so he can "get" more from her, etc. etc. She's in a very confused state at this point, and the advise she receives does not encourage her to strengthen her marriage. It's only towards the very tail end of the film that she receives a slice of positive counsel from an older nurse.
What's that Bible verse?
"Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."" - 1 Corinthians 15:33
Now, I'm not saying that Catherine had a perfect character already - the Kendricks do a good job of writing very human individuals - but her friends certainly didn't help.
This really makes me pause for thought - what company do I keep? What friends do I have, and what are their worldviews? What do they tell me? I am blessed to have fantastic parents and friends who keep me uncomfortably accountable to my goals, to following Christ as closely as possible.
But while it includes this, the "company" we keep is not solely limited to the people we interact with. Merriam-Webster defines "company" as "association with another; fellowship". What websites do you, do I associate with? What music or films do we have fellowship with? It may be a recording, not a living breathing person, but websites, films, and music are still very much entities delivering a worldview. A point. And we all know that the stuff we have most repeated exposure to, is the stuff we will eventually end up believing..and acting upon (now I know why there's so many Taco Bell ads on Spotify during lunchtime!! ;) ). This is something I really struggled with when I first got on my own last year, delving much more into secular pop culture than I believe God wants me to. I'm so thankful that He has yanked me to my senses, and over the past several months I am intentionally going through a brain cleanse...but still, what's in there is still tucked in there somewhere. I can never un-see anything.
What company are you keeping? And are they leading you towards or away from Christ?
And of course, on the flip side, spending time in God's word, listening to sermons, praying, and all sorts of stuff like that is fantastic!!
3) Lead, don't follow, your heart. Michael, Caleb's firefighter friend, really brings this point home in the latter portion of the movie when Caleb has given his life to the Lord and is very earnest now about recapturing his wife's heart. This is such an applicable point. I mean I feel like from Disney to everywhere else we are bombarded by this message of "follow your heart".
But what happens when we "follow our heart"?
We selfishly do what we want (often negative) instead of cherishing and serving those people God has placed in our lives (AKA the focus of Fireproof).
Instead of studying for an upcoming test, we watch YouTube and throw an unneeded roadblock (bad grades, bad reputation, etc.) in the way of God's amazing, unbelievable plans for our future (see Isaiah 55:8-9).
We give into temptation, ultimately hurt ourselves, and bring intense sadness and scars to the God who loves us, created us, and who has amazingly offered to redeem us.
I think you get the idea.
And leading our hearts does not always have to be in the big things, sometimes I feel the heart of leading our hearts may center in the small decisions, like getting to bed on time, choosing to go to church, or deciding to wash the dishes before you play and read a book. Choosing to balance your checkbook and live within your means is another good example.
And the best thing is, God gives us strength to lead our heart and resist the devil's temptations!
For the last number of years I have been a big fan of the movies made by the Kendrick brothers (they're the ones responsible for Courageous, War Room, and others). I really admire their integrity, their commitment to excellence, and what good, compelling stories they write. I also like that they always write characters who showcase that turning your life over to Christ is always a good choice.
Well, for whatever reason the one movie from the Kendricks I had not seen yet was Fireproof. So, last Thursday I checked it out from the library and slipped it in the DVD drive.
Now, I gotta give a disclaimer here. I absolutely love Kendrick films, and am definitely encouraged/convicted/challenged spiritually after watching them, but I have never really been to relate to any of the characters. Typically a general story line will include intense action/interaction, people heading deeper into sin, a life-transforming encounter with Christ, and finally some reconciliation between parties (usually spouses). There's also some solid humor thrown in!! This story arc could be done under the guise of a high school football coach, policemen, or, in the case of Fireproof, a fireman. And while there's always a slightly different focus, that's pretty much in a nutshell what happens.
So back to my starting to watch Fireproof. I knew it was about a fireman and his wife who were going through martial struggles, and I figured (knowing the Kendricks), by the end of the movie they would both come to Christ and reconcile (which in very brief is what happens - but with lots of amazing plot twists and turns along the way!!)
One thing that I was really surprised at was how relatable this move was to me, even though I myself am not married. Praise the Lord (by His grace alone!!) I have not delved as deep into sin as Caleb Holt (the main fireman character), but on a lighter scale I could relate to some of his struggles. I was also able to takeaway a lot more practical advise from the film than I had anticipated. I'm writing this article mainly for myself so I can remember said advise, but I hope that anyone who is reading this is able to gain a blessing from my insights as well!
1) Integrity is key. While nothing provocative or inappropriate is shown, it is revealed that Caleb is addicted to porn. And this is a parasite that he destroys with God's help en route to having a healthy marriage once more. But for me it was just a very vivid portrayal of how important it is to do right because it is right whether or not someone is looking...because Someone always is. Your integrity is foundational to what happens to you in both this life and the next. Period.
2) The company you keep basically determines your destiny. Caleb, although a total jerk at the start of the movie, has two super positive influences in his life: his dad, and one of his fellow firemen, who are both dedicated Christians committed to helping Caleb strengthen his marriage. Through them Caleb comes to accept Christ and starts treating his wife (Catherine) much better.
Catherine's circle of friends - she works as the PR head of a hospital - do not exert such a positive influence on her. When they hear from her how Caleb has been treating her nicer lately, they insist that it must be for a sinister reason, so he can "get" more from her, etc. etc. She's in a very confused state at this point, and the advise she receives does not encourage her to strengthen her marriage. It's only towards the very tail end of the film that she receives a slice of positive counsel from an older nurse.
What's that Bible verse?
"Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."" - 1 Corinthians 15:33
Now, I'm not saying that Catherine had a perfect character already - the Kendricks do a good job of writing very human individuals - but her friends certainly didn't help.
This really makes me pause for thought - what company do I keep? What friends do I have, and what are their worldviews? What do they tell me? I am blessed to have fantastic parents and friends who keep me uncomfortably accountable to my goals, to following Christ as closely as possible.
But while it includes this, the "company" we keep is not solely limited to the people we interact with. Merriam-Webster defines "company" as "association with another; fellowship". What websites do you, do I associate with? What music or films do we have fellowship with? It may be a recording, not a living breathing person, but websites, films, and music are still very much entities delivering a worldview. A point. And we all know that the stuff we have most repeated exposure to, is the stuff we will eventually end up believing..and acting upon (now I know why there's so many Taco Bell ads on Spotify during lunchtime!! ;) ). This is something I really struggled with when I first got on my own last year, delving much more into secular pop culture than I believe God wants me to. I'm so thankful that He has yanked me to my senses, and over the past several months I am intentionally going through a brain cleanse...but still, what's in there is still tucked in there somewhere. I can never un-see anything.
What company are you keeping? And are they leading you towards or away from Christ?
And of course, on the flip side, spending time in God's word, listening to sermons, praying, and all sorts of stuff like that is fantastic!!
3) Lead, don't follow, your heart. Michael, Caleb's firefighter friend, really brings this point home in the latter portion of the movie when Caleb has given his life to the Lord and is very earnest now about recapturing his wife's heart. This is such an applicable point. I mean I feel like from Disney to everywhere else we are bombarded by this message of "follow your heart".
But what happens when we "follow our heart"?
We selfishly do what we want (often negative) instead of cherishing and serving those people God has placed in our lives (AKA the focus of Fireproof).
Instead of studying for an upcoming test, we watch YouTube and throw an unneeded roadblock (bad grades, bad reputation, etc.) in the way of God's amazing, unbelievable plans for our future (see Isaiah 55:8-9).
We give into temptation, ultimately hurt ourselves, and bring intense sadness and scars to the God who loves us, created us, and who has amazingly offered to redeem us.
I think you get the idea.
And leading our hearts does not always have to be in the big things, sometimes I feel the heart of leading our hearts may center in the small decisions, like getting to bed on time, choosing to go to church, or deciding to wash the dishes before you play and read a book. Choosing to balance your checkbook and live within your means is another good example.
And the best thing is, God gives us strength to lead our heart and resist the devil's temptations!
So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you
don’t fall! No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind.
And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.
But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure
it.
-1 Corinthians 10:12-13
***
For me personally, none of these are really big "ah ha" moments, but just a really solid encouragement to keep on keeping on. Because with all the bombardment of pop cultures' very polar opposite viewpoints (despite how much I try to intentionally avoid it), I still hear those voices. And I absolutely love it when the Lord brings resources into my life to encourage me to walk on the straight and narrow path (something I've found God to be quite good at!!).
I really had just thought that I would walk away from Fireproof and be like, "Cool, great, super message for married couples to stay together!" i.e. nothing applicable to my own life right now. Wow but was I ever wrong!! This film has had - and continues to have - a massive impact on my life, even as a single. Regardless of your relationship status, I would highly recommend Fireproof to any adult (due to the firefighting and marital strife, probably not the best for kids). It's intense; but never over-the-top; incredibly sweet, very funny at times, and overall just an inspirational movie that makes you want to live your life even more for God.
I really like one of Michael's lines - goes something like the following:
"Fireproof doesn't mean fire won't come, but that when it comes, you'll be able to stand."
The particular application here was (of course) marriage, but I think this principle could be easily broadened to temptation and sin in general. Remember 1 Corinthians 10:12-13!!
I don't want to give too many spoilers away, but the scenes with Caleb and his dad have a ton of spiritual truth too. Such a blessing! I could write another article just on that, seriously. Oh, and I had thought before I watched the movie that it would start out gradually. Nahhhhhh!! In typical Kendrick fashion they went straightaway for that emotional jugular vein...and that's all I'm going to say!! ;) Hehehehehehe!!!! I'm not the crying sort of person, but inwardly I was crying for one reason or other pretty much the whole way through!
***
Have you seen Fireproof? What did you think of it? What lessons did you takeway? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments! :)
~Austin
It's good to know that quality and integrity is still portrayed in some films.
ReplyDeleteFor sure!!
DeleteExcellent points!
ReplyDeleteThank you! :)
Delete